Long ago we gathered together as spirit children of our Father in Heaven, in the grand council. While my mortal eyes prevent me from remembering, through scripture, revelation and the spirit, I can image that we gathered in a grand hall; and at the great Elohim, our Father at the focal point. Just as President Monson presides the church here on earth, adorned with his faithful counselors; Jehovah, known in mortality as Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer stood to his right, and the Holy Ghost, the great spirit to his left. We were taught in love and light. Great eternal truths were shown, and heard, and seen. And yet, with just our spirit, we could continue to progress no farther. And so we gathered, and a plan was shared.
Father taught, “Children, it is impossible to share my plan of happiness, without you first understanding how much I love you. You were conceived in love and reared in truth. Your spirits have enjoyed the eternal and unending light that comes from pure love and divine power. I have given you everything I possess that you are capable of receiving, but there is so much more.”
I sat on my chair, hanging on every word. My Father was my greatest teacher, and my truest friend. My brothers and sisters sat around me; many whom were dear comrades and beloved friends. I felt excitement and wonder. Father was talking about us receiving more. All I knew was where we were, to think there could be change brought about a sense of wonder and curiosity.
“I have a plan that includes opportunities for all of my children. We will create a world. This planet will be beautiful, filled with all types of animals, and plants. There will be water and land. There will be stars and the sun. We will fill the earth with goodness and life. The purpose of this world is to provide a place of learning, and opportunity to prove you. You will receive a body of flesh and bone, as I have. You will have the opportunity to live with families and learn of your own free will and choice.”
“You see,” he continued, “you need a place, apart from my presence where you can learn and grow; where you can make mistakes, and learn to repent. You need to have a world, separated in forgetfulness, where you can choose for yourself right or wrong.”
Happiness filled my heart to the brim! I could only imagine life on earth, with a family. I would have a mother and a father. There would be a husband and my children. There would be aunts and uncles, and cousins. Heavenly Father’s body was different than mine. He was full of glory and light. His body was matter, where mine was only spirit. He is beautiful! Words cannot describe the pureness and holiness that emanates from his frame. I wanted to go to earth, and become like Him.
Father explained, “Because you will make mistakes, which are a tool to learn and grow; and because you will sin, as a result of disobedience to my commandments, I will provide a Savior for you. His life will fulfill the demands of justice, and provide a way for you to repent, and return unto me, clean from the blood and sins of your generation, and of your own heart.”
As we had learned, those who sinned weren’t allowed back into Father’s presence. It’s not that he didn’t love them, its that he didn’t want to destroy them. Sin, impurity, and mistakes caused darkness and disease to the spirit. Father’s light and glory were so pure and powerful, that, just as a fire destroys fuel with its power, glory would decimate the sin and blemishes of a fallen people, and in truth, decimate them. And so a veil would cover our memory and our frame. To give us space to learn and grow; to love and to live; to try and to fail; to repent and return.
Father invited Jesus Christ to stand. He was the first born. Of course, he would be the one, knowing him and spending time with him was the joy of my existence. He was the brightest, and yet his kind and optimistic disposition provided a place to love and appreciate yourself through that light. He was the greatest servant, the lowest and most humble of God’s children. He was obedient. He radiated love and kindness to everyone he touched. After Father said his name, I knew he was the only one who could do what had to be done.
“Children,” Father declared, “Whom shall I send?”
Jesus looked out to us and smiled. He took a deep breath and turned towards Father with outstretched hands, “Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thine forever.” A great calm washed over my frame, as I began to imagine what was to come. Jesus Christ said, “Here am I, send me.”
“No, no, no! You cannot send us to an earth, and be okay with loosing your children!“ One of God’s son, Lucifer, cried out. In a fit of shock he stood up, with admonition, he stopped the meeting’s agenda. He was also known as the morning star; had been called to lead, he was bright and glorious. He had grown in that light and love. Rather than allowing God’s love to soften his heart, he boasted in his own strength, he loved the attention and adoration he received from others in the great family. He was a leader, he was charismatic with his words, and passionate in his speech. In his mind Father had gone too far, why in the heavens did he choose Jesus Christ as Savior? Why would he be okay with creating a plan when he knew some if not most of his children could not return? Many people would later describe the event that he merely posed another option. True followers saw more quickly what was happening.
“You say we are all precious, and that you love us all, don’t you Father? Then why is it acceptable to create a plan where even one soul would be lost?” Lucifer approached Father, and sternly looked into his eyes. While anger simmered deeply inside of his child, the parent emanated love and empathy for him, even while this moment represented the pivoting for billions of his children.
“Father, I say there is another way.” His motives appeared concerned, his tone softened, and the crowd leaned in to witness what was to unfold. “Here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor.” His thoughts grew as his vision for what he could become took seed in his heart. He imaged a world where he harnessed the power of man’s hearts. Mentally he was gathering the riches of the world, and his glory and power. Swiftly the fire of self appreciation and grandeur whipped through his eternal frame, and his mind was set. He would rule over man kind and be their Savior and Redeemer, not through endless suffering as Jesus offered, no, it would be easier for him that all of that. Yes, he could see it already. Everyone would be spared, and he would be exalted, even more than Father.
His thoughts and plan formulated quickly and he confessed the true purpose behind his motives, “Father, I will be the Savior. Can’t you see it?” As if Father would be pleased, “I will guarantee that we can have this mortal experience, we can even have families, but I would make sure that no one would make mistakes, ever. Not even one. I would choose for them. I would feel the glory of saving them, Dad, can’t you see it?” A smile broke free as he gazed into a future where the gathering of God’s family happened on Earth.
“Father, I will be glorious, even brighter and more powerful after saving all of your children.” It was as if he just discovered the taste of ice cream, and was sharing it for the first time. He clearly felt enthusiasm for this plan, and understood it as truth. “Here AM I,” he said adamantly. It seemed obviously right. He was so excited, and so proud. Then was genuinely startled by the swift and absolute response.
“I will send the first,” Father declared.
He then said, “I call Jesus Christ to be Savior and Redeemer of mankind. He will live in a land I will call Israel. There he will perform the Atonement, his sacrifice of spirit and blood will include the suffering and sins for each of you.” The reality of this calling and the price of his gift was startling. I could not yet fully comprehend what this meant. “By and through Him is the only way that you can access the powers of heaven, to be made clean through the power of repentance, and again regain my presence.” Father then said, “All those who can sustain Jehovah to be Savior and Redeemer, please raise your right hand.”
Immediately my hand shot up. It was the only way, I knew it. Every fiber of my being rejoiced at the opportunity to come to earth, with a physical body! I was so excited. I was nervous. I was grateful.
Jesus Christ looked out to the vast council and was filled with a greater measure of love. I could see on his face a feeling of overwhelming affection, it was as if he collected each one of us, his siblings, and made a promise to protect and provide; to shelter and to guide. He was my brother, and I knew that he would do anything to help me.
Lucifer leapt the 8 feet in two bounds to where Jesus Christ stood. “You cannot do this. You think you are good enough to swallow up all of their sins and mistakes? You think you are Father’s favorite, do you? Taking all the glory for yourself and leaving us with nothing?! I will not stand here and pretend like you are the only one who cares. I do. I DO. I want them to come back, you can’t even guarantee that.”
“Enough!” Father said. “Lucifer, you are absolutely loved, you are absolutely enough. But your plan of force will not give them opportunity to grow. Do not be fooled by the feelings of pride within your self. Let it go. You too can have the opportunity to have a body, to have an earthy family…”
Interrupting, he spewed vile animosity and shame. It was as if he was vacillating between hurt puppy and egregiously undermined ruler, “Never. I will never follow him, or depend on him for anything. You either. I will have my earth, and my glory without you. You just wait.”
“Lucifer!” Father cried out. His voice reverberating throughout the great hall, not because of the loudness of volume, but because of the sheer power he held. His voice, and his words filled the entirety of the hall, and my heart. Every element in our home was filled and received life through his voice. His presence demanded honor and respect, not because he forced it, but because the resonation of his light was so strong that it was impossible not to be encompassed by it in his presence.
He glanced at Father and muttered under his breath, “they are coming with me! You think you can take all the glory for yourself, but no.” Father remained calm, and resolute.
A tender smile washed over Lucifer’s lips as his amplified his voice to the crowd. “Brothers and sisters, I look at your faces and see that you are worried.” He turned his shoulders, then pivoted his feet. He then lifted and opened up his arms wide to all of us. “I see that you aren’t sure if you are willing to go through the suffering that your mortal life will offer you.” He paused, pulled his right hand to his chin and began pacing the floor. “Heavenly Father didn’t tell you everything. On earth you will experience pain and hunger, you will feel heart break. Can you imagine what it will be like to bury a child, or lose a friend.”
At first his speech was delivered in empathy, as his brainstormed life’s worst possibilities, and as he continued, his thoughts morphed into something far more deviant. “I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.”
While his imaginations were dethroning our great Creator, even Father in Heaven, he continued wooing the vast crowd. “Can you even fathom going to war, or watching your wife and your daughters being pillaged by your enemy? What about being unable to help as disease wracks your body, or poverty’s shackled ensnare your family for generations? Just wait until the travesty of addiction hits you.”
“No. There is an easier way. Come with me. I. Will save you.”
An eerie silence washed over the crowd. I looked around, we all did. Everyone one of these people were children of God, each one was beloved. For some, fear rose within their heart, followed swiftly by confusion. For others, they were angry that Father would be okay with allowing so much suffering, and even propose that we live in a place that was filled with pain. And yet, through this feeling of darkness that was planted by the great usurper, light shone brightly the hearts of most of the congregation. I could see it in the eyes of those around me, we would not be fooled by this talk of death and darkness. Heavenly Father’s plan was the only possibility. I knew without a doubt that Jesus Christ was the only living child who can take this burden upon him and succeed.
“Lucifer, depart!” And with those word a tide of contention was set in motion. Every child had to decide for him or herself what plan he would choose. A few left and followed Lucifer right then and there. Others departed in the moments to come. Many struggled immensely, and we worked diligently to invite others to join with Christ. It was the beginning of the Great War.
Father later explained, “Wherefore, because that Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agency of man, which I, the Lord God, had given him, and also, that I should give unto him mine own power; by the power of mine Only Begotten, I caused that he should be cast down; And he became Satan, yea, even the devil, the father of all lies, to deceive and to blind men, and to lead them captive at his will, even as many as would not hearken unto my voice.”
Our meeting was not over, despite the contention, and surprising turn of events. Great truths about the plan for more fully taught, and our hearts were filled as we began to understand the gifts that would come to those of us who would come to earth. The congregation broken into songs of testimony and exuberation, and we shouted for joy!
“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation. Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation. And in that day shall ye say, Praise the Lord, call upon his name, declare his doings among the people, make mention that his name is exalted. Sing unto the Lord; for he hath done excellent things: this is known in all the earth. Cry out and shout, thou inhabitant of Zion: for great is the Holy One of Israel in the midst of thee.”
D&C 121: 26 God shall give unto you knowledge by his Holy Spirit, yea, by the unspeakable gift of the Holy Ghost, that has not been revealed since the world was until now;
But why? Why all the suffering? Why all the turmoil? Why did Lucifer give up the gift of life for the sake of his pride? Why would the Great Jehovah willingly walk through Galilee and on to Gethsemane and Golgotha, knowing what he was about to encounter? Why would Father send us here, knowing that all of his children wouldn’t return?
Love. All of it is motivated by love.
Minions have been circling. Their darkness laughs as they attempt to ensnare us into their lies. “You are not good enough” they whisper. Laughing they cackle, “You think you can change?” “Your effort will always come up short.” “It will always be this hard, just keep trying, you’ll see.”
Then when you think they are gone you hear sweetly, “I know, I know. It’s so hard, just take a break for minute. You are so tired. Why don’t you stay inside, keep it to yourself, don’t tell anyway, just go rest.”
No! I will not stand for it any longer. I am a mighty warrior of light. I valiantly chose to stand at Jesus Christ’s side in the premarital realm. And so they remember, they know who I am, and have worked tirelessly to destroy what they think they can.
After pleading through prayer one morning, in my journal, I turned the page and began to write a response from Heavenly Father. I waited anxiously with pen and paper. The words flowed effortlessly into my mind, and a scribed what I felt.
“Dear Sarah, I see you. I feel you. You are at a unique opportunity, a crossroads. Before you move forward, please stop and feel the love I have for you. You do not need to accomplish something to be worthy of that love. You do not need to have money in your bank account to feel that love. You do not need to be a certain size or wear fancy clothes. I love every piece of you. You came from my love and grew amidst that love.
Your purpose on earth is to master feeling that love, love is Jesus Christ’s Atonement. Love is the healing balm. Love is the motivation for learning and opportunity. Love is the reason for the restoration of my gospel plan, the Book of Mormon, American, The Family Proclamation.
Feel Love
Harness love.
Give love.
Love your home, love your finances, love your husband. Love yourself. When you do, the other challenges will melt into new opportunities. The answer is not to do more, but to love more.”
My eyes opened to this unending source of love. We have felt God’s love so intensely this summer, and angels surrounding our family. My faith in a loving Heavenly Father has transformed into knowledge through this trial. I have heard his voice, and felt his love in the most powerful and profound ways. Happiness is vital. Faith is life.
