There is charcoal colored volcanic rock scattered across St. George. At the very top of Snow Canyon is the remnant of an ancient, and now dead volcano.
Recently we gathered our four kids ranging in age from 15 to 4 and made our way around on the ice cream swirl trail. The hike started with a small incline as we twirled around the back side. About halfway up the trail, the path took a sharp turn straight up the mountain. The view from on top of the mountain was breathtaking! While the entire trail was only 3/4 mile one way, we stood onto of 4,800 feet gazing southward towards the breathtaking fiery red cliffs of Snow Canyon.
After a short adventure on top, it was time to make our way back down the mountain. Looking down at the steps we had climbed was overwhelming to our four-year-old, Ben. He gazed at the gravel path that he needed to climb down and immediately shrunk. “Daddy, I can’t do it,” he cried out.
“Ben, I’m right here with you,” Dad said. “I promise I will keep you safe.”
“No, I’m scared,” Ben declared, as he bent his knees in attempt to plop on the pumice.
“Hold my hand; we will go down the trail together. Trust me.” Jonny held out his right hand and grabbed ahold of my little one, who was in no position mentally to proceed. Fear washed over his face, and his body imploded as small as his dad would allow.
In one quick swoop, Jonny scooped Ben off the ground, and carefully caressed the small boy in his strong arms.
While I waited for the big kids to finish their exploration. After they landed, they found a place to sit and enjoy some goldfish crackers and a juice box.
For those who know our family, the fact that my husband could go on a hike like this is amazing. In June of last year, Jonny was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor called an Acoustic Neuroma, about the size of a walnut. On August 1st two surgeons successfully removed the tumor with near textbook perfect outcome, or so we thought. His facial nerve is entirely intact! He kept half of his hearing in his right side and now wears a hearing aid. His spinal fluid never leaked! He did lose his balance on his right side, which has been an interesting adventure to recalibrate. We were so relieved. We soon realized that the unbearable headaches that were expected to last a few days turned into weeks and then into months. With the help of many healers, including acupuncturists, massage therapists, and pain clinic doctors we are working to find relief from debilitating, chronic headaches caused by nerve damage from his surgery.
In a moment, when life on the surface looks ordinary, mundane and regular, a volcano erupts, and everything is changed, broken, burning up and wrought with fear.
Now, I know that if I asked people to raise their hands who have had a brain tumor removed, we might have 1 or 2. But that doesn’t mean that the trials you have faced and the challenges you have overcome are less significant or difficult. What if I asked people to raise their hand if they, or someone they loved, had a divorce, chronic disease, financial hardship, helping a struggling child, including ADHD, and anxiety? What about those who have experienced panic attacks, same-sex attraction, infertility, miscarriage, betrayal, adultery, abandonment, addiction, or even those who have lost a loved one to death? I don’t know about you, but that list pretty well sums up our experience with our immediate and families of origin.
There are many mountains to climb. And there are an equal number of ranges to descend. While my human nature abhors the thought of living through the rocky, dark days, it is that contrast of health, happiness, and light that provides the shadows of the grand tapestry that God is weaving. One day, the Savior will unveil his masterpiece and I will fall on my knees in gratitude for his love that allowed space and time for divine mentoring in a fallen, broken world. It is in that heartache that he guides me to grow, to plead, to receive his grace and mercy. It is in that struggle that weaves in colors of light, joy, and truth.
So, how do you face the trials and challenges of our days with faith?
What do you do to trust the Lord, and lean not unto our own understanding? These are three insights my husband and I have gained that I share in hope to encourage you to walk forward in whatever trials you face.
1. Make a place daily for the word of God.
Each day I would arise early, before my family and feast upon the words of Christ in the darkness of the morning. These were a few things that he told me during this difficult time.
- Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us and said, … bear with patience thy afflictions and I will give unto you success. Alma 26:27
- Oh Lord.. wilt though comfort my soul in Christ. Oh Lord, wilt thou grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may suffer with patience these afflictions which shall come upon me… Alma 31:31-38 (modified)
2. Receive God’s Love
“God’s power to influence us righteously is His love.” – Elder Robert D. Hales.
After Jonny’s diagnosis, but before his surgery we went up to Bear Lake for a long, holiday weekend. During church, I sat in a very crowded gym, with one kid on my lap and the other three sitting in a stair well at the back of the gym. Totally unexpectedly the spirit poured God’s love into my head and fell into my heart during the sacrament. It was a sacred, lovely, holy gift, to feel love unfiltered. I sat with tears streaming down my face, remembering for a moment what it feels like to be enveloped entirely in the love of God. In the coming months I would come to know that I did not have to do, be or have more to merit His love. It is a gift, and I should receive it graciously. This love carried me in the coming weeks and gave me permission to receive the love offered by our community through service.
It is beautiful to watch the opening of the heaven’s window, as promised in Malachi to those who faithfully give tithes and offerings. We have been blessed beyond measure, with acts of kindness from so many people. If only for the ability to see other’s most generous selves, this challenge has been a gift.
3. Call Upon Angels
In a recent Women’s Conference Sister Wendy Nelson taught us that we have the privilege to call upon God, and request the assistance of angels, either by name, or by characteristic. I invite you to take advantage of this promise, that, “For we without them cannot be made perfect; neither can they without us be made perfect.” (D&C 128:18)
After Jonny and I said goodbye at the hospital, they wheeled him on a gurney towards the operating room. He felt fine. He had just turned 40, has four kids, runs his own business. He knew he was going to wake up to spinning for days and who know what kind of pain. No one was around, they left him alone for 15 minutes in an empty hallway. Fear enveloped him. He was terrified. With a prayer in his heart he asked for his grandparents. Immediately a sense of calm overcame his whole body. He felt at peace. As a young child he sat on Grandma Ruth’s lap reading Golden Books, and eating Danishes or sweet rolls. She and her husband Jay were there along with many others, surrounding him, bearing him up. I felt Grandma angels again, especially at night when we were in the ICU, ministering to us. Angels, the big strong kind stood watch against the adversary to protect our property and home when his recovery was in full force.
Coming Down the Volcano of Life
Looking at the the steep and rocky path that was to take us back to realty after living through a trial of volcanic proportions was overwhelming. Jonny and I gazed at the trail before us and immediately shrunk. We had a business to run, endless doctor appointments, a house to maintain and children to care for, not to mention the unexpected side effects of surgery.
“Heavenly Father, we can’t do it,” I cried out as I grasped my husband’s hand.
“Sarah and Jonny, I’m right here with you,” The Great Father in Heaven said. “I promise I will keep you safe.”
“No, I’m scared,” I declared, as I bent my knees in attempt to plop on the ground.
Heavenly Father instructed the Savior to come to our aid. The Savior whispered, “Trust me, Hold my hand; we will go down the trail together.“
Fear washed over our faces as our spirits imploded as small as he would allow.
In one quick swoop, Jesus scooped us off the ground, and carefully caressed us in his strong arms as we descended to safety down the Volcano.
St. George Temple – A Foudation of Volcanic Rock
When the St. George temple was built in the 1870s, the land surrounding the 6 acre plot was entrenched with underground rivers and streams. The pioneers redirected the water, but were left with marshland. Highly corrosive dirt would have caused a limestone or sandstone foundation to erode. Brigham Young used the volcano rock with the help of a steel canon and a pulley system to pound down the rock, to create a firm foundation for the building which would bring salvation to mankind, including the Founder Fathers of our country who came to Wilford Woodruff three nights in a row before the prophet made a swift effort in performing their ordinance work in the temple. (194 prominent men and women.)
The morale of the story for me, is that even the most violent, tragic and seemingly destructive circumstances of our lives can be used to by our Creator as the foundation of our salvation as we choose to walk in faith.
I invite you this coming week to create time in your day and room in your heart for the word of God (listening to a General Conf. Talk, listening to BofM, reading); that you open your heart to receive His love – take just a few minutes today, and record one time this week where you saw or felt evidence of his love for you; and that as you say your evening prayers tonight that call upon angels either by name or by characteristic to help you overcome a challenge you’ve facing, both physical and spiritual for your well being. I know without doubt that Heavenly Father will orchestrate blessings from those challenges you face.
